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Arby 'n' the Chief
Arby 'n' the Chief is the sequel series to Jon Graham's smash hit, Master Chief Sucks at Halo. The series is a sitcom that follows the antics of Graham's two Halo 2 action figures, Master Chief and The Arbiter, as they play Halo 3, Call of Duty 4 and other various games.The Chief and Arbiter tend to argue about topics in the video game pop culture. When HaloBabies interviewed Graham and asked what inspired the characters, he replied; "Master Chief is the epitome of every illiterate, non-nonsensical idiot I've come across in the online world, and the Arbiter is basically a representation of me." As such, the two characters compose the classical double act structure, with Chief assuming the role of the "funny man" and Arbiter the role of the "straight man". The series is well received among the machinima community for its sharp satire of gamer culture and its combination of both live-action and machinima elements. Plot Characters Main Characters Master Chief :voiced by Microsoft Sam Master Chief, also referred to simply as "Chief", is the main character of the series, having reprised his role from Master Chief Sucks at Halo, albeit with minor changes from his last appearance. He is a a Halo 2 Master Cheif action figure that is voiced by the Text to Speech Program "Microsoft Sam", and hand puppeted to create his movements. Master Chief's character is generally shown as being the embodiment of the negative stereotypes of the typical moronic players that one might encounter whilst gaming online. As such Master Chief is portrayed as someone with incredibly poor intelligence, who speaks in excessive leet (with poorly spelt subtitles to match), who commonly engages in annoying behaviour when gaming online, such as team-killing, "teabagging", weapon spamming, cheating, trolling, acting childish, following Internet fads, using illegal game mods (hacks), badmouthing other players, acting needlessly violent, lacking gaming skills, and generally acting in a manner that many Internet users and gamers describe as a complete n00b. He is described by Cortana as "A sexist, mentally defective homophobe whose daily activities consist of going on to lolcats.com and watching porn". This is an accurate statement, as he has displayed an extremely offensive attitude towards her and often calls everyone but her a faggot and many other unprovoked insults. The Chief also seems to be a Microsoft and Halo "fanboy". He loves playing Halo 3 Multiplayer more than anything, and hates almost, if not precisely every other video game or console, particularly if they compete with Halo's popularity. He always is convinced that if Arbiter disagrees with his own opinion on Halo content, if he is displeased with any Halo content, or playes games other than Halo, that then Arbiter must hate Halo's content, the Halo series, and Bungie Studios itself. Furthermore, he is only seen browsing the web through Internet Explorer, to the extent of actively deleting a shortcut of Mozilla Firefox, another web browsing program. (However, it being only a shortcut, it may be argued that while he did not fully delete the program, it may be because he was unaware that it was only a shortcut, thus proving his low intelligence.) He is also seen bashing the Nintendo Wii and virtually all games that are not related to the Halo series (such as Grand Theft Auto 4, and Call of Duty 4), mostly for no real reason other than they are popular, unlike the Arbiter who likes all sorts of games. However, after Bungie confiscated his Recon Armour for cheating, he declares he hates Bungie. He prefers to fix problems such as that with violence, both in game by unashamedly killing other players he disagrees with, be they on his own team or not, and in the real world, often attempting to attack his roomates, even to the extent of using weapons such as knives and frying pans. He is also apparently a fad-fan as he often quotes Internet memes in his dialogue. Fads such as Shoop Da Whoop, lolcats, roflcopter, Doom: Repercussions of Evil, and quotes from the Zero Wing game are often referenced by him and add humor to his antics. He almost always carries a sniper rifle and his 'Lazer' with him when in-game, even into places where guns would otherwise be prohibited. He displays a complete lack of regard for Prestige, believing them to be "a l0@d 0f Cr@yp"(A load of crap) and busting anyone who disagrees with him. He has a preference to always use childish insults and lingo when arguing, such as "Mom Jokes", "Male Gay Jokes", "Sexist Jokes", or even just simply responding "no u" as his only forms of retort. As such, forming any coherent conversation with him is exceedingly difficult. He also has a horrible taste of friends as all of his friends mentioned are either n00bs like him, wannabes, or jerks who double-cross him and make fun of his lack of intelligence. However, the Chief has some good attributes. He can be very creative with a large amount of intelligence and sense, though this is not easy to see because it is one of his attributes that he often ignores. The Chief can be often be very creative when he puts his mind to something, and seems to have a certain degree of intelligence, which have been noted at some moments such as the times when he created plans to achieve his goals, such as obtaining the "minecraft Armor" (which The Arbiter qualified as a good and very complex plan, although the things and people he required were "out of reach") or the time he tried to break up Todd and Cortana. He also has positively no patience for stupid, boring or blatantly idiotic things, displayed in season 3 episode 2, where he grows weary of the moronic antics of the three people involved in the "wedding" and the priest. He also is very emotional, as he can be extremely sensitive. He was brought into a very emotional state when Craig and his friends made fun of him during a match. Until episode 20, Chief thinks that he is a highly skilled Halo 3 player and is very clever (this is proven when he says to the Arbiter "cuz UR brain r liek this {Cause your brain are like this}" and made a small hand gesture, "adn mai brein r liek this {And my brain are like this}" and made a huge arm gesture), even though it is always proven to be far from the truth. One thing that has been contributing to Chief's terrible Halo 3 skills is his unawareness of what he is doing, proven in episode 17, when he had no idea that the Arbiter was playing for him. The theory that Chief may be unaware of his doings is out of the question, proven in episode 4. It is also because of the beer Chef drank. During Season 5, Chief seems to be more intelligent and more sympathetic towards the Arbiter (the last episode, "Collapse"). Even when he stated Claire "is a bitch", and Arbiter tells him to shut up, Chief does one thing: Sorry, Arbiter. The Arbiter :voiced by Microsoft Mike The Arbiter is a Halo 2 Arbiter action figure that is voiced by the Text to Speech Program "Microsoft Mike", and hand puppeted to create his movements. The Arbiter is the complete opposite of the Chief. He is intelligent, calm, ethical, well spoken (with correctly spelt subtitles to match), polite, honest, and unlike Chief, he demonstrates great gaming skills. Arbiter basically shares the personality and other qualities of Jon Graham himself. He and Chief have somewhat of a love and hate friendship and the two are nearly always in arguments, or Arbiter is victimised by Chief's irrational behavior. The Arbiter often tries, sometimes unsuccessfully, to bring common sense to Chief's and other gamers' minds, such as when he tries to calm down people panicking over a game glitch, or when he breaks up a fight between Chief and Todd. In episode 25, another player characterizes him as "a natural mediator. I look at this conflict and see entertainment. You see it as something that needs to be resolved". Arbiter usually acts nice to other people and tries not to hurt their feelings. However, he is known to talk smack quite often when disgruntled by the Chief, and he does ridicule behavior he finds bad or stupid right away. Arbiter disapproves of prejudice and other bad behavior, and is particularly offended by ignorance and idiocy, demonstrated in episode 14, when he commented on a Halo 3 wedding: "I'm all for people meeting on online social networks... but I think all of this is KIND OF pushing it". Very much unlike the Chief, he demonstrates incredible gaming skills, and is a lot more appealed by other popular video games besides Halo 3 such as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Devil May Cry 4, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Grand Theft Auto 4. Unlike Chief, the Arbiter does not blindly love games he plays and acknowledges their shortcomings. For example, his enjoyment of Halo doesn't stop him from expressing dislike for the Heroic Map Pack, saying it was not worth $10. Arbiter has tried to introduce Chief to the games he plays, like in Episode 5, he let Chief try out Call of Duty 4 after Chief was getting bad performance on Halo 3, but he quit very shortly after starting. There is a sign that he and Chief are starting to get on better (though they will never probably cease arguing) as Arbiter admits Chief's trashing a Halo 3 wedding "funny" and the two are seen high-fiving afterwards. Also, after he and Chief are insulted by MLG wannabe Craig, he decides to teach Craig a lesson and meets him on Guardian, telling him even if Chief is stupid, he had been treating Craig nicely and it was no reason to insult Chief. Also in the movie, after seeing Chief get himself hit by a car, the Arbiter goes to him and hopes he doesn't die and tells him he actually loves him (despite still arguing with him). The Arbiter appeared twice, albeit off-camera, in the "Master Chief Sucks at Halo" series. Once in episode 2, where he is chatting on MSN with Chief, and once in episode 3, where he serves as Chief's camera-man for the montage. In these episodes, Arbiter is portrayed as having similar intelligence and behaviour to Master Chief. When asked by fans what prompted Arbiters change in character, Jon Graham''' simply responded, "Just roll with it". Recurring Characters Cortana : voiced by Microsoft Mary Cortana arrived in episode 7. Until after the movie, she has not had as much screentime as The Chief and The Arbiter. She seems to be more of the Female version of the Arbiter except for the fact she has more of a Feminine personality, and a little more violent. She has never had good relations with the Chief. Despite Chief's love for her, their arguments get more and more hate filled and violent as time goes on. Despite her description as a female gamer, she has never been seen playing. She is the subject of sexist jokes (for example being told to go make sandwiches). She fell in love with Todd after she first met him, which really angered Chief. Although she probably was originally intended to represent a more rational character (along with the Arbiter) that slot was filled by a Todd, who is considered the more beleivable character. Fans generally consider her to be a waste of space, as all she ever did was act like a bitch to Chief. She breifly went out with Todd however. Eventually she was removed from the series along with Todd and Travis as fans had generally grown sick of the characters and their dull plot lines. Starting at episode 15, "Professional", she disappeared. It was later revealed that she was abducted by an alien along with Todd and Travis, while Todd and Travis had their "butts made love to", due to the alien being gay, Cortana was thrown into the nearest alien sun. Fans would speculate this to be her punishment for being the worst character in the series. This entire scene was an attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance. Todd : voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r Todd is a Master Chief figure from the Halo 3 McFarlane Action Figure Series. He and his friend Travis's voices aren't used by a text to speech tool like the other three characters, as they are of the Halo 3 McFarlane series (which Todd is named after), that have new and improved voice boxes. Upon his arrival, he got along with the Arbiter very well, and fell in love with Cortana at first sight, as she did with him. He is very much like the Arbiter, but prefers to read (mostly with Cortana), and doesn't seem to use foul language at all (only mildly cursing when fighting for his life when Chief tried to kill him). Chief thinks of him as a "gigantec pusy (gigantic pussy)", which, surprisingly, is true, such as in the Movie, when Chief pulled a not-too-scary prank, Todd ran away, screaming effeminately at the top of his lungs. He is somewhat smaller than the Chief. Chief attempted to kill him and Travis in Episode 12. Also, Todd appears to be easily fooled, as shown in Episode 12 when, while trying to kill him, Chief tricked him into turning around, saying "HOLEH MOTHR OF GOD L@@K OTU ITS TEH COVERNINT (Holy Mother of God! Look out! It's the Covenant!)" while pointing behind Todd. Todd turns around, opening an opportunity for Chief to smash him off with a frying pan, then grabbing the "ROFLKNIEF". He was removed in episode 12. Later, it is revealed that he, Travis and Cortana were abducted months ago by an alien called Xanthor, who then "anally raped them and then eated them alive, while he throwed Cortana into a nearby sun". (The entire scene was a shoddy attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance). Travis : voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r Travis is a Brute Chieftain figure from the McFarlane action figure series. Travis appeared along with Todd in episode 9. He and his friend Todd's voices aren't done by text to speech tools like the other three characters, due to their new and improved voice boxes. Travis got along well with Chief when they first met. During the movie, they didn't get along. In fact, Travis hated Chief as much as Cortana and Todd did. In episode 11, Travis played a joke on Chief which ended up with him getting smacked into a wall mirror by Cortana and humiliated, filling Chief with murderous rage as he watched Travis laugh hysterically (and later became the reason for Chief's attempt to murder him). Travis is not as much like the Chief as previously thought by fans. Travis is highly aggressive, but unlike the Chief, he has normal conversations with Todd, Cortana and Arbiter without throwing insults, penis jokes, or mom jokes at them, like Chief mostly does. Travis loves to play Xbox 360 games, particularly Halo 3, but doesn't perform as badly as Chief. However, when he does make mistakes, or the game's difficulty or other players get to him, he gets easily angered and curses at the television or down the Xbox Live Headset. He also drinks on a frequent basis, favoring Jon's bottles of Jack Daniels. But, he does not use foul-language and the term "gay" as much as the Chief does. He and Todd both disappeared in episode 12. It is later revealed that he, Todd and Cortana were abducted months ago by an alien called Xanthor, who then anally raped them and ate them alive, while he threw Cortana into a nearby sun. It is also revealed that Travis was the one who deleted Cold Storage from Jon's Xbox in an attempt to contact Arbiter and Chief (In retrospect, he noted that it probably didn't work). (The entire scene was a shoddy attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance). Jon : portrayed by Jon Graham Jon is one of the few non-action figure characters in the series. He appears in "Cold" and "Dear Jon", and is mentioned often. In both episodes only his feet are shown. He is the owner of Master Chief and Arbiter figures. He is also the owner of the other figures that come in later in the series. Isn't much said about Jon in the series though Arbiter and Master Chief talk about him alot. In S3E1 "Cold" the figures hid from Jon; meaning that Jon didn't know they were alive. In "Endgame" Jon was losing money and couldn't pay his rent, and after the death of his roommate Jon couldn't pay it by himself. Claire then offered Jon to move into her house in LA. It's never actually known where Jon actually is when many of the series' episodes are taking place. Quotes :'''Halo player: Wh... What are you? :Chief: i r guy who gon t33ch u less0n ---- :Chief: who the fuck r u :Arbiter: My name is The Arbiter. Mother fucker. ---- :Chief: wat if bungie dun giv it 2 meh :Arbiter: There there, Master Chief. There there. :pause :Arbiter: Can I play Call of Duty 4 now? :Chief: fuck u ---- :Arbiter: You've got a real fuckin' attitude problem! :Chief: uve got a r33l fuckign FACE problim ---- :Arbiter: Chief, have you seen the Call of Duty 4 case? :pause :Chief: no flushing coem on! flush bitch :Arbiter: Chief... are you masturbating? :Chief: wtf? no :Arbiter: Then what the hell are you doing in there? :pause :Chief: ummmmmmmmmmm pause acshually i am jacking off. go away ---- :Arbiter: You suck big throbbing COCK at Halo 3 ANYWAY! Why the fuck are you even concerned about your rank or your kill/death ratio? It's probably like, one to twenty anyway! ---- :Arbiter: Jon's hard drive isn't even that big. :Chief: dun wory. i hav... TWO FLOPY DISKZ :Arbiter: I think you will need a few more than that. ---- :Chief: hugz? :pause :Arbiter: You want a hug? :Chief: ya :Arbiter: You want a hug... from me? :Chief: ya :pause :Chief: wher is teh luv. teh loev. the luv. ---- :Arbiter: It's called Super Smash Brothers Brawl. And it's amazing. So shut up. :Chief: ur mom waz amasign l4st nite :Arbiter: Another mom joke? You just did one a minute ago! :Chief: me adn ur mom did 1t a minit ag0 ---- :Chief: HOLEH MUTHR OF GOD, L@@K OTU! ITS TEH COVERNINT! ---- :Guy: the Arbiter What are you doing this Saturday? :Chief: away UR MOM ---- :Arbiter: Easy on the grifball, Greg. Wouldn't wanna PULL A MUSCLE or anything. ---- :Chief: at the bride NICE ASS BABY :Attendee: Shhhhh! :Chief: STFU ---- :Chief has crushed the ceremony :Arbiter: What the hell was that? :Chief: ONE KICKASS WEDDING :Arbiter: I can't believe you. :Chief: THAT WAZ SUM FUNNY ASS SHIT :pause :Arbiter: You know, that actually WAS kinda funny. pause You wanna do it again? :Chief: DAYUM RITE SOON : ---- :Bungie Passenger: ATTENTION HALO3 PLAYERS AND XBOX LIVE SUBSCRIBERS! WE ARE REPRESENTATIVES OF BUNGIE STUDIOS. THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM IS AWARE OF THE ISSUE REGARDING THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ARMOR PERMUTATIONS AND THE INABILITY TO UNLOCK CERTAIN ACHIEVEMENTS AND ARE CURRNETLY WORKING TO REMEDY THE SITUATION AS QUICKLY AS POSS- :Player Exiting Tunnel:(tosses grenade) REPENT! :Driver: (Warthog flips) JESUS! :looks over at passenger and sighs. Passenger is dead, gurgling on the ground. :Driver: Godammit Bill. You never were one for wearing a damn seatbelt. I guess now you finally... paid the price! :jacks warthog :straddles driver and holds brute shot over him :Player:'''This blade(Brute shot) is for taking '''my blade(Katana armor)! :melees driver as driver screams ---- :Arbiter: I don't even know what you're worried about. You're awesome at Halo! :Chief: snif... uthikn so??/ :Arbiter: pause ...Yes? ---- :Arbiter: It's almost one o'clock. You ready? :Chief: alm0st. i ned an0thr b33r :Arbiter: him a can You've had quite a few already... :Chief: b33r maeks meh pleh liek profishnal :Arbiter: Well, at least you're not overdoing it. at a pile of empty cans I suppose that's the important thing... ---- :Chief: u lie liek a fly w/ a b0ger in its eye ---- :Arbiter: Good luck Chief. :Chief: i dun nu33d luk. remimbr u sed i wuz ossim!1 pause ......rite...?// :pause :Arbiter: ...Right. ---- :Chief: MLG?? pause I DISAGREE!!1 Craig ---- :Arbiter:drunk Dude... this download is, like... going slower than... like... a slow turtle. That's dead. From... turtle cancer. ---- :Chief: the Arbiter a condom DONT BE DAFT WRAP UR SHAFT! LOL ---- : Claire: So... So you're telling me that not only are you harboring a criminal in your house that's ruining on-line play for thousands and thousands of people, but Jon isn't even your name... but your "owner's"? What does that even mean, anyway? : Arbiter: ...Oh... shit. : Chief: LOL. OWNED?/ ---- : Chief: L00KS @ US. were breakign like shity mega bloks spin0ffs. does u rly wants 2 spends ur last momints h33r until ur limbz or ur dick falls off and u get chucked in teh fuckign garbaeg?/ i doesnt no abot u but i prefirs 2 go out w/ a big bangz. LETS FUCK UP SCOTTS SHIT. LETS SAEV SEXBOCKZ LIVE. ADN LETS HAV SEXY TIEMS W/ CLAIRE ---- : Scott: So, you little faggots are gonna have me arrested? On what charge? : Arbiter: Uh... possession? : Scott: Oh yeah. Fuck! Running Jokes * In episode 1, Master Chief used Jon's frying pan to knock the phone off the wall when it was ringing. Arbiter used it to subdue Chief when carrying a kitchen knife. Chief later used it after Arbiter proved his skills in Halo 3 Multiplayer wrong. ** In episode 8, Cortana gave a harsh comment on Chief's Halo 3 Forge map, and Chief gave an extremely offensive reply. In response, Cortana casually picked up the frying pan randomly lying on the floor, dragged it on to the sofa/couch and smacked Chief through the window with it. ** In episode 12, Chief used it to smack Todd when they were fighting each other. * A kitchen knife was also used as a weapon: ** In episode 1, Chief grabbed a knife while looking for Arbiter. ** In episode 9, Chief used it again for the same purpose, but Chief was looking for the newcomers introduced in that episode, Todd and Travis. ** In episodes 11 and 12, Chief used a different knife (shorter, but sharper) in an attempt to kill Todd and Travis, and described it as the "ROFLKNIEF". When Chief almost defeated Todd, he grabbed the knife and says that it demands blood and used his ventriloquist skills to make the knife say "BL00D PLZ K THX L0L". ** Again, in Season 5 Ep. 12, Chief took again the same "ROFLKNIFE" in an attempt to kill Greg, and again the quotes "LOLOLOL MAI ROFL KNIEF GOES SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC LOLOLOLOLOL" and "BL00D PLZ THX LOL" are said, with the same purpose. Notice that there are 7 SLIEC in the 5ft season one and 5 in the previous, and in the previous one the word "GOES" is written with the Z (GOEZ) and the words "ROFL KNIEF" are attached in one word (ROFLKNIEF). ** In Endgame: Part Four, Master Chief holds his foot out, while holding the knife above his head. He brings it down, however, on a jar of peanut butter instead, which he spreads on some toast. Afterwards, he actually does cut his own foot off, as an attempt to regain his Recon Armor. * Jon's digital bedside clock is shown several times, always displaying the time “3:43.” This is an obvious reference to the Halo character 343 Guilty Spark. * Master Chief has made numerous videos containing one single main song. "Crawling" by Linkin Park. In the commentary of Master Chief sucks at Halo 3, DigitalPh33r states that he used this song in Master Chief's montage because he finds it overused and overplayed in real videos. * The number 420 has appeared at the end of a few gamertags in the series. The number is a reference to Marijuana. * Master Chief sometimes calls an item he's either using or wielding, a ROFL-item. He's done this with the Rocket Launcher, the kitchen knife, Skylar Lovehart's car, after escaping him and the well known, Roflcopter. * For some strange reason, all of Master Chiefs' pathetic excuses for machinima seem to take exactly 7 weeks to produce and release. (a reference to Bungie's love of the number 7?) * If you haven't noticed, most of the insults thrown between the Arbiter and the Chief begin with "Stupid Fucking" or responds with a "Mom" joke. External links * Jon Graham's official blog * Old blog * Arby 'n' The Chief video playlist * Official "Arby 'n' The Chief" Wiki Category:DigitalPh33r Category:Popular Machinima